


Justified Villainy

by Laurasauras



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, M/M, Violence, superhero/supervillain - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 08:25:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: There are some things worth turning to supervillainy for, and stopping the alien masquerading as Betty Crocker is definitely one of them. Wanting the most prominent superhero in the area to beat you up is a pretty nice factor, too.It's been years since Bro Strider (The Puppet Master) first started fucking with Crocker's plans and fucking The Raven on the side, and he's managed to cause a lot of problems despite his annoying arrangement with The Raven. He's not allowed to kill anyone so that The Raven won't try too hard to put him in prison as he keeps civilians safe from The Puppet Master's villainy.And now The Raven has a side kick. The Puppet Master isn't great with kids, but he never thought that'd be relevant in this particular aspect of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this for NaNoWriMo 2018, so updating as I go.  
> Alpha Dave = The Raven / David Lalonde  
> Beta Bro = The Puppet Master / Bro Strider  
> Dirk = The Kestrel / Dirk Lalonde

He's running late and if he doesn't show then you're gonna have to disable the program that's keeping Crocker's brakes from working yourself. You know her driver can find somewhere to drive around for a while, but the longer it goes on, the more likely it is he'll make a mistake and as much as you really want to kill her, you know it won't stick. But the driver's death would. So, gotta give him the brakes back.

Except you don't do that. You're pretty firm on not doing that. You make threats and Raven is the only reason you don't have any casualties to your name. Well, that's technically true. You have an arrangement.

Except he's late. God, this pisses you off.

You stop pacing like an idiot and sit down at your laptop, crabbily clicking through your folders to find where you hid the program for the remote access. You're good at hacking smart cars. And hacking anything, to be fair.

You hear the dramatic sound of a window above you shattering and roll your eyes. The police must have slowed him down and now he's showing off. You don't bother to turn around, instead focusing on getting to the program instead of one of your many pornographic decoys. You're the only person you know who hides non-porn in a maze of porn instead of the other way around.

'Puppet Master!’ a young man's voice calls.

You close the laptop lid and stand, ready to draw one of your many blades if you need to.

Raven is there, head down and leaning into his hand like he's embarrassed by the short, slim guy in front of him. Is that a kid?

'Is that a kid?’ you ask.

'No!’ the kid says.

'Yeah, sorry,’ Raven says.

The kid turns to glare at Raven. Based on his height and the horrifying amount of children in your neighbourhood, you're guessing he's 12ish. It's hard to tell at that age, some kids grow fast or slow and it's confusing as fuck, but you don't actually need to know his birthday, you're just making an estimate so you can decide whether you're allowed to hit him. You think the answer is … no.

‘What’s your game here?’ you ask.

'This isn't a game, Puppet Master! We're here to stop you!’

Raven grimaces at you. You guess it's probably hard to explain the nuances behind your villainy. There's a reason he hasn't trusted even the most sympathetic of police officers with the fact that you don't evade him, he lets you go. Even though if pressed you're sure you could evade him. You did in the early days.

'What are you stopping me from?’ you ask.

This seems to shake the kid a bit.

'From … what are you doing?’

'Watching porn.’

Raven sniggers. The kid glares at him again.

'A baking icon who you've targeted in the past has had her car hijacked,’ he says, crossing his arms.

'Kid, I'm clearly not currently driving anyone's car. Who's car has been nicked? Guy Fieri's?’

'Dude, when have you ever had beef with Fieri, he's a good guy.’

'He has frosted tips.’

'Crimes on fashion aren't real crimes.’

The kid coughs and Raven hides a smile poorly.

'Sorry, kid, whatever your name is, go on. You were accusin’ me of somethin’?’

'My name is Kestrel! And reverse what you did to Betty Crocker's car!’

‘Sure, whatever, you caught me. Do something with that.’ You chuck your laptop at Kestrel and he catches it. ‘Don’t let all the naked people distract you. Raven, a word?’

Raven pats Kestrel on the shoulder as he follows you out the (unlocked) door. You lean on the side of the building and he copies, close enough to brush shoulders.

'So, I admit I didn't pay a lot of attention in biology but I'm guessing I didn't give you the kid,’ you say.

'No, you didn't mpreg knock me up. Also it's been like 2 weeks since I saw you.’

You raise your eyebrows at him. He picks up on your silent insistence that he answer your indirect question.

'He didn't have anyone else,’ Raven sighs. 'They were gonna put him in foster but we connected and I know that's special and, like, don't read shit into this, identity wise, but I've got enough to share. Like, plenty, really.’

'Feel free to share it with me,’ you say.

He knocks his shoulder against yours and laughs.

'Like you're hurting for it, I know I haven't caught you on every heist you've pulled.’

'I love it when you use sexy words,’ you growl.

He laughs again.

'So, what are the chances that you'll let me fuck you against the wall while he's busy in there?’

'Low,’ he says, his smile rueful. 'Not impossible though.’

You push off the wall and bracket him in with your arms. He licks his lips and stares at you hungrily. You linger, letting the moment stretch, tasting the promise of intensity.

And then the door slams open and the kid, balancing your laptop on his hand with not nearly as much care as you'd like, bursts out of it.

'Done!’ he says. ‘D-Raven, are you okay?’

Raven, used to this kind of close call, knocks your arm aside and pushes you so that he's pinning you against the wall, his forearm pressing into your throat. Mmm instant boner.

'Fine, Kestrel,’ he says. 'What have you done?’

‘I’ve reactivated the brakes. And given him a couple of viruses.’

Raven meets your eyes apologetically. You would sigh if you had full use of your throat, but it's currently under a deliciously tense arm.

'So should I call the police?’ Kestrel asks.

'Yeah, I'll … tie him up, you do that.’

You try and make a lewd comment, but you actually can't talk like this. Hot. You wink instead.

Kestrel turns his back to make the call and Raven lets go of your neck.

'Sorry,’ he whispers.

'Me too,’ you say. Your voice is kind of raspy.

You see his eyes widen with recognition when he takes in your words. You let him catch up to your level before you strike, kneeing him in the groin. Your knee hits his reinforced armour, reinforced for your sake, and you obviously don't hurt him. Still, someone makes a move like that, you flinch, and he does.

With the extra space, you can throw a punch, and it lands high on his cheek. He falls to the ground and Kestrel turns, dropping your laptop and his phone and pulling a sword out of his costume.

'Kid, I can't fight you.’

'That's gonna make it a lot easier for me to win,’ he says.

He charges you and you just manage to draw your own sword in time to block his slashing blow. Usually you'd go on the offensive immediately, but you've been told it's wrong to stab children and you have a feeling Raven really won't fuck you again if you murder his kid. Stupid nemesis. You bet Dualscar's never had this problem with Mindfang.

‘Where’d you learn to fight?’ you ask, deflecting another slash. Kid moves like he wants to take off your head, seems like Raven hasn't had the “don't kill people” talk with him yet.

'The circus,’ Kestrel says, voice thick with sarcasm. You think he's telling the truth.

'How long has Big Bird had you?’

'Shut up and fight me!’

Teenagers are annoying. You don't think you're gonna get much out of him.

You slide your blade down his and flick your wrist with a practiced movement before wrenching his sword out of his hand. It flies across the lot. Kestrel looks at you with a defiant kind of fear. You don't lower your own sword.

‘Check his pulse for me, Chicken Little.’

He goes to Raven immediately and counts heartbeats to the tick of the second hand on his watch. That's good enough for you, he's clearly still alive. He's not gonna be happy you knocked him out again and you're gonna have to plan around him being in the hospital for a few days, if not longer.

You sneak away while the kid's still counting and get up on the roof. Apart from the laptop, there's nothing to tie you to this scene and apart from that one program it's just full of porn. You call an ambulance in case Kestrel doesn't think to and wait until it arrives, listening for any overly dramatic teenage sounds that might mean Raven is in trouble.

Even after he's been taken by the paramedics (you saw his arm move to stop them unmasking him so hopefully he wasn't unconscious too long) you stay on the roof, thinking. You need an angle on that kid, you can't just let him get in the way of your plans. You might have put off Crocker from signing those documents today, but she'll reschedule and she's not going away any time soon. You can't afford to stick to some moral code when it comes to her, you made that decision years ago.

If you have to take out one brat for the good of the world … Well, hopefully it won't come to that. You've got a perfect record so far, maybe you can compromise. Dualscar has a kid, maybe siccing another minor on Kestrel doesn't count as hurting him yourself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's gonna be some violence. Also, Bro is a villain, he's gonna act like it.

You have to be extra careful for the next few weeks. Concussions are actually really fucking bad for people, and you don't fancy forcing Raven out to stop you. So you go a bit more lowkey, do some online shit, stealing some money from one of Crocker's illegal accounts. Makes it hard for her to report you when she's not supposed to have the money in the first place. You set yourself up a new laptop, get all the files how you want them. You visit your sister and resolve to never visit your sister again. Usual stuff. There isn't such a thing as an only child in the Strider family, and your sister has about a billion kids. Some are probably cousins (which in your family just means not-siblings who are related to someone); the kids go where there's food and room and seeing as you only trust two of your sisters with money, they bear the brunt of the childrearing duties.

Tonight you don't have much choice about getting out. Crocker's been getting more confident while you've been off the grid, and tonight she's meeting with some independent politicians to bring them into her web. And she'll succeed, of course. Not only does she have more information on these schmucks than their mothers would, she's terrifying, beautiful and smart. Something for every occasion. 

So, you've got to get to them first. And you might also be those things, but you're gonna lean on the same option that she always does, the one that makes sense. You're gonna threaten these guys before she can, put one in the hospital so they know you're serious, and then disrupt their meeting so she can't undo what you've done. If you make it clear you've already locked these guys up, she'll move on to the next plan and the reward for your capture and/or death will be increased. Business as fucking usual.

You bring a few of your puppets for diversion purposes. And intimidation purposes. You sneak into the hotel room they're having a pre-meeting briefing (drink) in, and arrange your boys strategically and silently at the exits before announcing your presence. 

You jump over the back of the couch and settle yourself in between Frank and James, arms over the back and posture relaxed.

'Any bourbon in the mini bar?' you ask.

James shrieks. Frank stiffens, but maintains his composure. Julie actually starts looking through the mini bar, bless her. 

'I'm not fussy,' you tell her. 'Any spirit will do, just not tequila. Dualscar got me way too trashed on tequila one time and now the taste is forever associated with ass. Both literally and metaphorically, but don't go spreadin' that around.'

Frank clears his throat and leans away from you. You wink at James and he falls off the couch.

'Puppet Master, I believe?' Frank says. 

You accept the glass of rum Julie hands you and smile menacingly at Frank. 

'I'm glad you know me,' you say. 'I've come to add some puppets to my collection.'

James shrieks again and you glance over to see that he's tangled up in one of your puppets, limbs spread and shaking in terror. Perfect. You turn back to Frank.

'You've got a meeting with a prominent business woman tomorrow,' you say.

'Not exactly high stakes stuff, is it?' Julie asks. Her posture is almost relaxed, except for her hands clenching the arms of the chair she's sitting in. 'We're not even high stakes people, we're nobody.'

'Don't be so modest,' you say. 'Anyway, both Crocker and I know it's not about who you are now. You have potential. And I want you as my puppets, not hers.'

There's silence while they consider your words, no doubt trying to figure out how a politician is supposed to answer this kind of thing. 

'Frankie baby, on the table I have a few folders, you mind fetching them for me?'

Frank moves without protesting your familiarity. Good. You hate it when you have to start on the hurting so early. Being somewhat infamous is so handy.

'Julie, you're the primary caregiver to your kids, aren't you?'

'Yes.'

'That's very impressive that you managed to win an election over the other assholes and do the full-time mom thing at the same time.'

'Yes.'

'Though I suppose now they're older it's somewhat easier?'

Julie opens her mouth as if to speak but then closes it again. Frank hands you the folders and stands awkwardly next to the couch. 

'Sit, Frank. Julie, say what you were going to say.'

'I was just going to say that teenagers are hardly "easier" in my books, but I don't want ...'

You pat her on the knee and she flinches and falls silent again. You hand her and Frank their folders, giving James's folder to Julie to hold onto. It was very convenient of Crocker to assemble all this information so you didn't have to. You check on James again. He seems to have settled down some. Presumably he's still scared, but you're clearly not actively hurting him and the human brain can get used to living in a higher level of stress when it adjusts. 

Julie looks up at you sharply. 

'Are you blackmailing us?' she asks.

'Hmmm, I think I need to look over what the definition of blackmailing covers,' you say. 'What I'm doing is threatening you with the fact that I know all your pressure points and lack a code of ethics. I'm also making it known that I really don't want you to ever agree with anything that anyone from Betty Crocker's organisation wants you to agree with. Ideally, I don't want you to even ever hear from that company.' 

You lean closer to her, making sure she feels the weight of what you're saying.

'I don't particularly want to kill you,' you say. 'But I want the person in the role you're currently in to be as far away from Crocker as is humanly possible. Is that blackmail?'

Julie looks down at the packet, her face white. You smile at Frank.

'I'm afraid that I don't get my reputation for violence by relying on people to know I have a reputation for violence,' you tell him. 'I'm not going to make you come by it second hand.'

Your puppets slowly pull themselves towards the three of you, moving with every ounce of creepiness that you've programmed into them until they reach the politicians and bind them just as securely as James is, still on the floor. 

'Now, this is gonna hurt, Frankie. You're a clumsy son of a bitch, and falling down stairs hurts. I'm sure all three of you will be able to get a few days off to deal with your friend being hospitalised.'

You stand, leading with your hips and letting your arms flop like you're one of your puppets and then straddle Frank's lap. He's crying silently but he won't stay quiet long. You grab the soft mitten of the puppet holding him down and force it into his mouth so he doesn't bite his tongue.

'Help!' Julie calls. 'SOMEONE HELP US PLEASE GOD HELP!'

The puppet holding her shoves his own mitten in her mouth as well. A moment later the phone rings and you reach over Frank's shoulder to reach it.

'This is reception, we've just had a call about noise.'

You stroke Frank's cheek as you reply in a perfect imitation of his voice.

'So sorry to bother you,' you say, 'James had the volume on the TV turned up to max somehow, we've fixed it and there shouldn't be anymore problems.'

'Do you need someone to check in?'

'No, no. We're absolutely fine. Thank you for calling.'

You hang up. Frank's eyes are wide with alarm.

'I can throw my voice too,' you brag, before slamming the heel of your hand into his collarbone, breaking it.

You methodically replicate the exact injuries you researched for this purpose. It doesn't take long, but it sure takes longer than actually falling down the stairs. And it has the added bonus of showing these goons that you're more than happy to do a job yourself rather than let gravity do it for you. It's the personal touches that make this shit effective.

When you're done, you pick Frank up bridal style and take him to the foot of the stairs outside. You saunter back into the room to call an ambulance, using James's voice and name this time (you're more than capable of replicating Julie's voice but men's are easier) before picking up your puppets and climbing out the window. 

When you get to the roof, Kestrel is waiting for you.


	3. Chapter 3

'Hey, Birdbrain,' you say. Your puppets are limp and clinging to your body, but at a moments notice they'll move their little robotic limbs for the kid and you can escape. Ugh. Escape. Like you can't take care of a 12 year old on your own. Except you can't because of your damn ethics. You know you've recently punched Raven way too hard but you really feel like you owe him another one for infecting you with _ethics_.

' _Kestrel_ ,' he corrects. 'What are you doing here?'

'Senseless violence, mostly,' you say. 'What about you? Boy scouts?'

The sword in his hands is a katana, just like yours. Raven uses a hand and a half straight sword; you're a little out of practice if he's gonna come at you with proper swordfighting. Most of the idiots you deal with don't know what they're doing, but given the short spar you had with him a few weeks ago, you're pretty sure Kestrel knows exactly what he's doing, young or not.

'You put Raven in the hospital,' he spits. 'Do you have any idea how dangerous concussions are? If he'd gotten a second knock--'

'Yeah but he didn't, did he?' you interrupt. 'And what makes you think I give a damn if the biggest pain in my ass lives or dies?'

Ugh, should you even be swearing in front of him? This is worse than visiting your sister. At least you know those brats have been exposed to worse than you. 

He doesn't answer, just shifts his grip on his katana to one that's a bit more aggressive. 

'Come on, kid. Let me go. I'm not currently breaking any laws.'

'This roof isn't open to civilians,' he says defiantly. 

Jesus fuck, he's on the roof too. You give him your most exasperated look. The mask probably covers a lot of it up, unfortunately. 

'Go stop someone from jay walking.'

'Are you planning on doing that? 'Cause you're the one I'm tagging tonight.'

'What is your _problem_?'

The kid doesn't have an answer for that, either. Before you can even draw your sword, he's on you. The only reason he doesn't decapitate you is because one of your puppets sacrifices himself leaping up your arm and in the way of the blade, curling around your neck for a brief instant before the damage to the mechanics force it to release you and fall limply to the ground. Another of your puppets launches himself at Kestrel at the slightest mental nudging from you and he cuts him in half as well. You swear under your breath. At least it gave you time to equip your own sword.

He's fast, frustratingly fast. He nicks you on the arm when one of your blocks is a little clumsy and he avoids the retaliatory blows you throw at him before you remember you're not supposed to hurt him. Your final puppet tangles his legs up enough for you to whack him on the head with the hilt of your sword, but he doesn't seem to feel it. You feel bad about even that compromise before he kills the puppet and drives you back to the edge of the roof.

You put your hands up. He takes your sword from you, throwing it behind him in a way that is just _really_ bad for it. This kid is becoming increasingly expensive to deal with, your puppets are not exactly store bought either. 

'What now?' you ask. 

Usually when you get to this point with Raven ... well, you're not interested in any of that business with a kid. You haven't lost a real fight for a very long time.

He sheaths his sword and then uses it to hit you over the head. You stumble a little, thankfully in the direction of more roof, and he starts beating the shit out of you as you try and block a sword with your forearms. Your costume is really more for disguise than it is for protection, though you have a bit of armour over your chest to protect the vital bits, and he's doing a fair amount of damage.

If you don't get out of here, he's actually going to be able to hand you over to the police. You roll away from him, feint to one side and then the other, and then sprint as fast as you can with what feels like a fractured ankle towards the roof edge that's closest to a neighbouring building. You leap to the other side, rolling to break your fall and keep running. You hear Kestrel land behind you and force yourself to go faster, to choose a more complicated route despite your injuries. At least you know where you're going, that's an advantage. 

You run down a fire escape until you're low enough to drop down, steady yourself with your hands and run out of the alleyway. You can't hear Kestrel behind you, but you're not taking chances. You hang a left diagonally across the street, ignoring the sound of car horns as you ignore the traffic. You find a kid on a skateboard even before you make it to the park and shove her off it, not hard enough to make her fall, taking over. It's a lot faster to skate than it is to run and it doesn't hurt your ankle quite as much.

There's a bar not far from here that will have no problem with you hiding out in it. At least that's one upside to fighting a kid, he's not exactly able to follow you in even if Sufferer was the kind to let in people who are chasing his regulars. You have to grind down a rail and grit your teeth against the extra pressure on your ankle, and then it's only a block and a half of weaving through the occasional pedestrian and you're at the bar.

You kick the board up and lean it against the wall so drunk idiots don't trip on it and look around to see if Kestrel has somehow followed you. You don't see him, but you walk cautiously into the bar anyway.

It doesn't have a name or even a sign out front, and Sufferer is the kind of barkeep that seems to be actively annoyed that people somehow find the place despite this. It's not crowded, but it's not empty either, at that ideal level of busy where you won't have to wait for a drink but you're also not in danger of standing out. You take a seat at the bar, not noticing until too late that Dualscar is a few stools down.

'Well?' Sufferer demands. 

'Can you somehow give me beer and coffee at the same time?'

He glares at you before he looks you up and down.

'Raven's back, then?' he says. 'I can make you an espresso martini, but only because you look like shit.'

'Nah, he's got a sidekick,' you say. 'And I'm not gay enough for that.'

Sufferer sighs and pulls you a beer, throwing a can of redbull at you as well. You catch it and hold it to your jaw where Kestrel got a hit in.

'Don't suppose you've got your wallet somewhere in that spandex?' he says.

You attempt a winning smile.

'Don't do that,' he says. 

'I'll pay,' Dualscar says. 

'I'm good for it, Dual, Sufferer knows that,' you protest.

Dualscar takes this half-hearted rejection as an invitation to sit next to you. He slides a $50 bill along the bar and swishes his nearly empty glass back and forth in Sufferer's direction. Sufferer glares at him but pours a refill before walking to the other end of the bar and pulling a battered paperback from his coat pocket. 

Dualscar leans into you flirtily. You sigh and take mental stock of your body. Is it going to be easier to fight him or fuck him? It's been a few weeks and he's not a bad lay but _ugh_ clingy. And you're kinda tired from successfully beating up people and being beat up yourself.

'So, Master,' he says. 'Give me an order, will ya?'

Maybe you could just lie down somewhere while he sucks you off, that sounds like a low effort thing. The door opens and Sufferer throws his book down dramatically. This is why the damn thing is in such bad condition.

' _Fuck_ no,' he says.

You turn to look at the door. Kestrel's eyes narrow when he sees you, and then widen as Sufferer vaults the bar and charges him.

'Out!' Sufferer shouts. 'Out of my bar, youth!'

You wiggle your fingers at him in a patronising way as he's shoved out. You feel your mood lighten by a lot.

'Wanna take me back to your dumb ship?' you ask Dualscar.

He knocks back his drink and stands up. 

'Yes,' he says.

'Yes, what?' you tease.

'Yes, Master.'

Sufferer rolls his eyes at you as you leave, as if he's never fallen prey to Dualscar's unrepentant availability before. You leave by the back exit just in case the kid is waiting for you.


End file.
